The PM’s handcuff fetish (Things I hated in 2008)

Herr, kitty kitty

Does Stephen Harper even have a sense of humour? Consider this awkward moment from September 2008, when comedienne Geri Hall of CBC’s long-running fake news show This Hour Has 22 Minutes caught the PM and his staff off-guard at a press conference in Halifax.

Hall, standing in a sizable crowd of reporters, tried to ask Harper a question and she got turfed from the room. “I’m a single female,” she told him. “I love you. I want to love you,” she shouted. RCMP guards quickly grabbed her and escorted her from the room.

“Was that This Hour? See, I don’t watch it.” the prime minister admitted to the remaining press corps, as Hall, still in character, continued: “Girls love a guy with a sense of humour.” She was handcuffed and detained.

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Things I hated in 2008 – Celebrities

Thanks to the ubiquity of gossip websites on the internet, infotainment TV shows and the glut of glossy pop culture magazines at the grocery check out, no place is safe from celebrity news.

Certain faces appear again and again, bouncing into the news because of a newly-discovered baby bump, a stint in rehab, or an imminent divorce, often coinciding with a multi-million dollar movie opening or album launch.

A little scary, frankly.

Who isn’t sick of Tom Cruise, who’s been overexposed for several years in a row now, thanks to his couch-jumping, maniacal enthusiasm for Stepford wife Katie Holmes and his well-publicized disdain for psychiatric meds and his aggressive proselytizing on behalf of Scientology?

This year a 10-minute tape on YouTube surfaced (then quickly vanished) of Cruise talking about his religion.

“Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, it’s not like anyone else, it’s, you drive past, you know you have to do something about it. You know you are the only one who can really help.”

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Sarah Palin (Things I hated in 2008)

John McCain’s Hail Mary Pass running mate announcement – coming practically on top of the triumphant Democratic party convention’s endorsement of Barack Obama and his VP choice Joe Biden – was one of the swiftest and most divisive political buzz kills of the summer.

Satire helped.

I’m not sure what was more disturbing about Republican vice president hopeful Sarah Palin, her freaky, right-wing evangelical Christian politics or the winking, smirking ease with which she was able to pass off appalling insults and outrageous lies about her democratic opponents.

I definitely hated her bitchy put downs, like her big fat dig at Obama during her first televised debate: “I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities,” laying it on thick in a snarky, corn-pone twang.

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Trailer Park Boys got cancelled?!?

Little brains, big plans.

Yep, it’s all over for dope-smoking recidivists Ricky, Julian, Bubbles and the rest of the gang at the embattled Sunnyvale Trailer Park in Nova Scotia.

Director/creator Mike Clattenburg has supposedly promised another feature-length movie, but the TV series is finished. The last episode, Say Goodnight to the Bad Guys, an hour-long special involving a country and western dance at a community hall, aired a few weeks ago.

Fortunately, the series lives on in repeats on Showcase. For now. Just saw the Rush “Closer to the Heart” episode, rum ‘n Coke tumbler-full of great lines:

• “You guys don’t give a fuck about Rush!” – Bubbles.
• “I was a bit of a dick. You were a bit of a dick. There were a lot of people being dicks.” – Ricky, to Alex Lifeson.

And has there ever been a more proud Canadian pop culture moment than when a pitch-perfect Bubbles shyly sings the first lines of Closer to the Heart in front of his guitar hero at the end of this classic episode?

A dope trailer is no place for a kitty.

A close runner-up might be when Ricky, banished to his car (the Shitmobile), watches the opening credits of The Littlest Hobo roll on a portable TV installed on his dash. I get teary just thinking about it.

So long boys. Thanks for the memories – and the immortal, expletive-littered catch phrases. Here’s to Freedom 35, cheeseburger bellies, piss jugs, and the auteur cinematic vision of the Bare Pimp Project. To getting drunk and stoned with my family at Christmas, and for the following mantra: a dope trailer is no place for a kitty. Also heed: “Dope and cops don’t mix, do they, Mr. Lahey?” “Like shit and strawberry shortcake, Randy.” Words to live by, people.

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